Blippo/Femtofax/The Read-only Review

In Blippo+, The Read-only Review is the 'Reviews' section of the Femtofax forum service.

Transcript

Week 1

Those who know me know that in addition to my fine taste in art, music and television, I'm also a bit of a gearhead.
So I'm thrilled that the eleventh-generation PeeDee is finally here, and that I have a first peek to share.
If you've been holding onto your Gen-10 out of nostalgia for its screen density and handfeel, now is the time to upgrade!
These new models have everything you love about the familiar yellow exterior with a fully revamped interior.
That means a high-range consciousness particle field detector with remarkable dynamic range, courtesy of TelsonLabs.
I've only had this model for a short while, but I've already been able to pick up consciousness signals from across Blip!
The PD11 Pro handles solar flares and other particle interference without glitching.
All my favorite programs come through in crystal-clear 1-bit resolution.
It's everything you'll ever need froma PeeDee. That is, until they release the new model.
But that's just my opinion. Yours Truly, AC Trilby, critic-at-large

Week 2

It may be in its 67th season, but Werf's Tavern is still as intoxicating as a hearty swig of Kayorian Brandy: a rip-roaringly funny, zany ensemble comedy that needs no chaser!
Hervé LeCar has been behind the bar at Werf's since opening day. He's always taken an impressionistic approach, changing his tone according to whims I'm not sure his co-stars understand.
But you can't blame LeCar-after embodying an iconic character for so long, especially one requiring so much time in the makeup chair, anyone would get a little loopy.
LeCar's spirited approach has made him a fan favourite on the convention circuit. Second only to Biba Astroscan, who plays Zima, Werf's right hand, waitress, and occasional conscience.
On this season, we're treated to a cocktail flight of hilarious and heartwarming storylines.
There's plenty of fan service-let's just say a certain timelord makes long sought-for return appearance-and fun surprises.
I'm no lightweight: 67 seasons of Werf's is barely enough to get me tipsy. So long as the laughs keep coming, I'll keep ordering more shots.
But that's just my opinion.
Yours Truly, AC Trilby, critic-at-large

Week 3

Watch out! Here comes another eye-popping, heart-pumping addition to the ongoing Fighting Trillions franchise: a favorite of thrill and action buffs Blipwide!
"Terror At Ozone Beach" signals the arrival of a major talent in newcomer Rachel Nukeo. She's explosive as Valibu Gina, a toxic mutant more radiant than radioactive.
Her one-liners zing; her fighting sequences sting; and her décolleté sings.
Nukeo has the makings of a midnight movie icon the likes of which we haven't seen since the late great scream queen Veda Flambé.
Far from scraping the bottom of an old barrel, the Trillions franchise has popped open a fresh one-marked "toxic waste." It's more than worth a trip to theaters to see how Nukeo radiates star power.
I've seen "Ozone" four times, and I get great joy out of the filmmaking, in addition to the subject matter: it's a whip-smart action flick that warns of the dangers of nuclear proliferation.
But that's just my opinion.
Yours Truly, AC Trilby, critic-at-large

Week 4

Hermes B. Have's meteoric rise from middling mystic to notorious necromancer is now the subject of a new memoir.
But "Psychopomp and Circumstance" left this reader wondering: what do people see in this brooding pretty boy? Is it his famous relatives? His snappy suits? His hair?
It's certainly not his prose, which is trite, meandering, and self-indulgent at best.
There's no denying he smolders with a black flame onscreen, but Hermes B. Have, on the page, is neither dismal nor menacing.
Have is far from being a master of the dark arts. Compared to a great raconteur like Erich Von Zipploch, for example, he inspires few creeps, zero jitters, and practically no spine-tingling.
I'm tempted to believe the spell he has cast on our planet's most impressionable population is merely superficial: due more to his divine bone structure than any skills of divination.
Witchcraft? No thanks, I'll pass.
Yours Truly, AC Trilby, critic-at-large

Week 5

Renzo Sixlove is best known today as the tireless host of The Exquisite Telethon poetry program, but I admired his early theatrical career.
In Windows on the Moon, which I saw in repertory, he made the best of some middling writing with a riveting portrayal of tortured suitor Meltutio.
Today, of course, as the "writer of writers," it's Sixlove who runs the show, weaving words from across subspace into an endless ode for the benefit of Blippian posterity.
For all his notoriety, it's remarkable that we're only just now being treated to Renzo Sixlove's own writing: a slim chapbook, "Cherry Blossoms on the Cathode Ray," published by Blippo Books.
Can he swing it as a solo poet? My verdict is yes: Renzo has both the ear and the voice to make beauty from chaos. To quote the volume's penultimate piece, my favourite poem:
"Pink Petals/One for Every Soul/We Are Dancing in the Darkness/Together and Alone."
Sixlove isn't just a master of compositional ceremonies-he's our planet's finest literary voice.
But that's just my opinion.
Yours Truly, AC Trilby, critic-at-large

Week 6

You've heard the name: Mike Zero. Every show on Blippot seems to have capitalized on the appearance of this mysterious visitor from beyond the Bend.
No matter where I flip, there she is: cryptic, cool, and completely contrary to the conventions of cable.
Is Zero the real deal? Undoubtedly. But who does this breathless, wall-to-wall coverage actually serve?
Not scientists like Dr. Boing. She was struggling to justify the risk of her Space Bending program even before Zero arrived to complicate matters.
Not the public, who are getting a sensationalized, popcorn view of what is unquestionably serious business.
And certainly not Zero herself, who must be feeling spread thin after her long, strange trip.
TV's treatment of Mike Zero is not helping temper our anxieties, and it's not getting us any closer to understanding who she is, or what really happened to her in the Space Bend.
And yet, we all know it will go on. Why? Because Mike Zero makes good TV. And good TV is more important than Mike Zero-or anyone else. As for me, I'll be opting out.
Unless, of course, she agrees to an interview with the Read-Only Review.
Yours Truly, AC Trilby, critic-at-large

Week 7

Everyone knows Ned Telson, TV's most colorful scientist. After all, Blippo+ runs thanks to his famous YASSOU protocol.
But it's been a long time since Telson pushed YASSOU 1.0, and he's spent most of his career since applying his technology to more superficial pursuits.
Which begs the question: is Professor Ned Telson a real scientist, or does he just play one on TV?
Some in the scientific community take this question further, proposing that YASSOU was a fluke, and Nelson's just squeezing his tech for ratings.
Murmurings of crackpot theories and implausible research are bubbling across Femtofax channels and astrophysical conferences.
A recent appearance on State of the State was so befuddling it cracked veteran broadcaster Madeline Planet's impeccable professionalism.
As for me, I'm no scientist, so I can only judge Mr. Telson for his presence onscreen, which is fresh, funny, and fully believable.
When it comes to entertainment, well, Telson has it down to a science.
But that's just my opinion.
Yours Truly, AC Trilby, critic-at-large

Week 8

Last night I attended the opening of "Intractable Geometries," the new Melody Plastic retrospective at Gallery X.
Over wine and canapés, I took in Plastic's famous posthumous "planar" works, which create an illusion of depth through the use of specialized epoxy-silicone alloys.
I'd never seen one up close, and reader, I was transfixed.
Plastic's surfaces are so smooth, so perfectly without friction, that they gave me the impression of not even having been made at all.
I'll admit Plastic's "anti-meaning" art is not for everyone. Some people like a little personality in their art.
But I would argue that the lack of personality in Plastic's work is exactly what makes it so mesmerizing!
No matter how hard you look, there's simply nothing there. A truly blank slate, her work suggests, is impossible-even crafting one suggests intention that can be interpreted as a statement.
And when everything means something, it's a gift to encounter something that means absolutely nothing.
But that's just my opinion.
Yours Truly, AC Trilby, critic-at-large

Week 9

What is music, really? A combination of frequencies? A shared experience? A way of measuring time?
Or is it a key to the universe?
These are questions The Star Sawyer asks with her new composition, "Tone Burst #12."
Her first new recording since announcing her retirement from the public eye, it was released overnight alongside a cryptic statement: "this should open the channel."
What does she mean? Rumors have been circulating for a long time that Sawyer, tired of the trappings of fame, was seeking to expand beyond the audible.
Accounts of supersonic arias echoing around her remote polar residence have kept fans, myself included, on edge
"Tone Burst #12," however, is sung in more than just a new register. It's an attempt to transcend music itself. I believe it may not even be a song.
When I listen, I feel things coming loose in my mind. My well-honed critical capacities fall aside. I find myself open to the universe-tuned, almost, to a new frequency. Can you hear it too?
It sure sounds beautiful to me.
But that's just my opinion.
Yours Truly, AC Trilby, critic-at-large

Week 10

I have made a long and successful career out of sitting at home in a finely upholstered tubeseat, sharing my opinions about what is good and what is not.
It has been a great joy for me to serve as Femtofax's valet of value. My taste has been my currency in this world, my passport to a venerated status as arbiter of all things.
But as I sit here, again, on the eve of this undefinable moment in our history, I find myself wondering: who am I to judge?
I am after all only an individual: one single dot in our vast star map of consciousness, twinkling alone.
We've watched as the youth of our planet have come together to claim a new future. They are not thinking of what is best for the individual.
Like Mike Zero, they are many, moving as one, and they've invited us all to join them. Whether or not you have accepted their invitation doesn't matter, what matters is that it is open to all.
Is that a beautiful thing, something to celebrate? Yes, I think so. But this moment is not about me.
That's just my opinion. And what's one opinion in the face of a collective revolution?
Yours Truly, AC Trilby, critic-at-large

Visual details

...

People, places, things

AC Trilby
...

Speculations and theories

"It may be in its 67th season" (…) "Hervé LeCar has been behind the bar at Werf's since opening day." - Do people get older on Blip, or is a Blippian year shorter than an earth year?
"cryptic, cool, and completely contrary to the conventions of cable" - quite the lover of alliterations. Behind the moniker, is AC Trilby actually Erich Von Zipploch or Renzo Sixlove?
...

Comments

Section names stems from the fact that while most sections in Femtofax are interactive, this one is not. Plus it refers to Read-only memory.
...

Trivia

...

Credits

...